It's my birthday tomorrow, I am going to be the scary number of 22. It is funny how I seem a lot more mature since my 21st in some ways and in others I feel so young.
I've just finished taking my number '21' keyring of my keys. Not only is a goodbye to the year but an official goodbye to my love life as it is the only reminder I have left of the ex as it is the one gift I kept from him.
It's scary to look back at my birthday last year as I was living with the ex in between living up at University, I had booked myself in for a hair appointment (I always feel fabulous after visiting the hairdressers) and when I came back home (his) he greeted me with a massive chocolate cake (heaven), a bunch of flowers and loads of presents. I opened my presents and for one of them he had wrapped a travel guide to Paris up and in it placed 50 euros telling me my 'real' present was we were going to Paris (the place I want to visit most in the world) after I had finished with my studying and was back home for good. He gave me a hug and told me I was no longer his little baby but his little lady now, and we went for a fancy dinner and then met up with friends to go bowling. Three months later I was carrying my bags out of his, with a broken heart and only film images of the Eiffel Tower.
Why am I telling you this, I am not really sure but I think it needs to be said to show that having a birthday at the age of 22 and single is not the end of the world but only the beginning. Looking back I do not regret that birthday or my relationship, just my views have changed. For my younger self that birthday was what love for me symbolised, I couldn't have been happier but looking back it was just things and words. Everlasting love and happiness is the things in life that are expressed everyday without you knowing, a simple smile or just knowing that no matter how 'rough' things become you can always rely on someone.
The sad thing is I have yet to find this with someone other than a family member and I don't know if I ever will but I am not going to worry my 22 year old btm off (or my 82 year old btm if it takes that long) because life is for living and I plan to make the most of it!
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